Disclaimer: This article is simply my personal experience and is not intended to replace any medical advice that you are receiving. Depression is real and what works for one person may not work for everyone. I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and I struggle. I struggle with Anxiety, trust and depression. I am hopeful because of the struggle, it means I have not given up, It means that I continue to battle. It means that God is not done with me yet. #TheStruggleIsReal Sunday, I found myself in the battle. I did not know why I was immobile, unable to move, feeling heavy and sad. All I knew is that by 4pm, after a day of isolating myself from my family, their activities and conversations, I could either continue to lay down or I could get up and FIGHT. I chose to fight. I chose to move through the heaviness, to move through the sadness and the weight of my unknown grief. So, I got on my dancing shoes (my trail-runners) and I hit the mountain. My husband joined me. My husband, who also did not know the source of my sadness, walked with me, he hiked with me and he ran beside me quietly as we hit the trails. And then it happened, around mile three, I could feel the weight lifting and my eyes open to see the light of the new day. Then, by our fifth mile, I felt like a brand new person. Depression has a way of creeping in unexpectedly, lurking and crouching, hoping that we will continue to lay in it, continue to listen to it and believe what it has to say. Depression thrives on immobility. As someone that has struggled with depression most of my life, I know that in the intricacy of how I am made, that I may continue to struggle with it until I am called home to heaven, sometimes alone, sometimes with someone walking beside me, sometimes with some saying (after a few days) "Get up off the couch and move!" I believe that there is truth to what the medical field has said regarding the benefits of exercise to combat depression. There is something in the way that we are designed that allows movement to re-set us and help us to dig ourselves out of the funk that we can be in. For those of us that struggle occasionally and those that struggle often, know that there is hope. Sometimes, we fight alone, sometimes we fight with someone beside us, sometimes we fight with the aid of medication and sometimes....no, ALL THE TIME we fight with the the Lord at our side. The Lord says that we can cast all of our cares, even when we don't know what they are, upon him. The Lord, who says that His yoke is easy and His burden light, calls us to take His yoke on us. The Lord will never leave us or forsake us in our sadness or in our struggles. Our Lord, who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imaging is by our side. Today, if this is you, fight. Fight to move. Fight to lift your eyes up to the source of life and light. Fight to get up. You got this, because He's got you! As one who remembers, I love you in the Lord, Mia For more information about depression help medically and spiritually, check out this article from Relevant Magazine: CLICK HERE Disclaimer: This article is simply my personal experience and is not intended to replace any medical advice that you are receiving. Depression is real and what works for one person may not work for everyone.
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I love this picture. I love looking at it and remembering how happy I was. I loved being loved by this young man, my brother, Chris. He loved me well. Today, December 12th, had it not been for his death at the age of twelve, he would have been 50 years old. These anniversary dates are always difficult, but today was especially hard as I sat trying to imagine what life would have been like had he lived. My tears this day were tears of what could have been, tears of If-only's, tears that won't change the past, but tears nonetheless. I remember the day of his death like it was yesterday. There was no warning. One day he was here, the next day, he simply did not feel well and like that, he was gone a few weeks later. I remember the pain of loss, the pain of not getting to say goodbye. I remember the hole in my heart that I carried for so many years through self destruction, sadness and depression. Yet today, I was overwhelmed as I tried to imagine a life without the ache or pain of searing loss in the heart of a six year old girl. I tried to imagine Chris as a 50 year old man active in my life and the lives of my children. This day, my mother and I reminisced about Chris, her beloved son, my sweet brother. I love hearing her re-tell the story of the night he came to their home on New Years Eve as a two year old. He was so small, sharp as a tack, but quite sick with a very bad cough. That night, that New Years Eve night, in the bitter cold, he came home with no jacket or coat to call his own in the freezing cold, negative degree weather that Chicago is so well known for. I listened to my mom's heart as we both, to this day, try to understand the why, yet hearing my mom say "God is perfect in all His ways" was the reminder I needed today, this day when I tried so hard to imagine a world with my brother in it. As for God, his way is perfect: The word of Jehovah is tried; He is a shield unto all them that take refuge in him. 2 Samuel 22:31 Heaven is our home and one day I too will leave this world, as will my children, my husband, those that I love... we all will ... and chances are that when we leave, others will ask the same question... "why, why now, why so soon?" Well, heaven is our home, for those of us that trust in the name of Jesus Christ. So the question of Why, we may never know, but we can trust a God who is loving, a God who is near to the broken hearted, a God who loved us so much that He sent His only son to die for us, a God who works all things together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purposes. THAT God, that God who is perfect in all of His ways, can be trusted. I miss my brother Chris, I'm sure you have people that you miss and people that your heart will always ache for. But, my prayer is that the aching of our heart would be swaddled by His loving arms, that our pain would be enfolded into the heart of our Father in heaven. I pray that the comfort that He will bring would cause us to lean on the everlasting arms of a trustworthy Father, a good, good Father. Friends, I love you in the Lord, Mia "Good, Good Father" - Housefires
Anticipation...that's what the Advent season is all about. In our celebration of Christmas, we know that Jesus has already been born, yet we still choose to celebrate the Advent of our King each year as a reminder (just as I choose to celebrate the entire month of my birth leading up to the actual day.) It's the anticipation of what's to come, anticipation of the celebration.
But what about the times when you are anticipating that which you still do not know, simply an anticipation of a promise. That may get a little more difficult, because that requires patience, that requires trust, that requires FAITH. In Luke 1, we are told of the birth of John the baptist who would eventually be the voice crying out to others to prepare the way of the Lord, Jesus Christ. John's parents were older and his mother had been barren, so when the angel told Zechariah that his prayers had been answered and that they would have a child, he did not believe it. But even in his unbelief, God remind faithful to His plan and to his promise. And so, months later when his wife, Elizabeth, gave birth to their child, the Bible says that her neighbors rejoiced with her! Her husband too, I would imagine, although, because of his initial unbelief, the angel told him months earlier that he would remain silent and unable to speak until all had taken place. Oh, how difficult that would be especially at the site of one's firstborn son. As was customary in those times, the child was circumcised on the eight day, more than a medical procedure this was a religious practice, a sign of their covenant with the Lord as God's chosen people, set apart and called. On this occasion, the child was also to be named and naturally they would have named him after his father, Zechariah, but Elizabeth, the baby's mother as the text reads... "answered, “No; he shall be called John.” And they said to her, “None of your relatives is called by this name.” And they made signs to his father, inquiring what he wanted him to be called. And he asked for a writing tablet and wrote, “His name is John.” And they all wondered. And immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue loosed, and he spoke, blessing God. And fear came on all their neighbors. And all these things were talked about through all the hill country of Judea, and all who heard them laid them up in their hearts, saying, “What then will this child be?” For the hand of the Lord was with him." Luke 1:60-66 I know that there is so much going on before this point, during and so much more to come, but what got me in the gut this day was the question that the neighbors laid up in their hearts. This question.. "What then will this child be?” For the hand of the Lord was with him." Oh, the anticipation! Zechariah's faith in declaring this childs name to be John was the last barrier that allowed God to loose his toungue from his past unbelief. Zechariah beleived! And calling his son, John, against all customs was a testimony to that belief. I can only imagine at this point the initial words that the angel shared with him at the announcement of his answered prayer to have a child must have come flooded back to him. These words "And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, for he will be great before the Lord. And he must not drink wine or strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb. And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God, and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared.” Luke 1:14-17 So as Zechariah spoke for the first time in months, his words were a declaration that signified "This I do believe." The anticipation of the proud parents, the anticipation of the neighbors who rejoiced knowing the hand of God was on this child must have been great. Yet all they could do was wait...... wait to see the answer to the question that was pondered up in their hearts of "What then will this child be?" As the years went by, did they remain patient, anxious expectant or doubtful? Maybe at times a little bit of each, but there is no denying that faith in the midst of anticipation is much more fruitful than doubt or fear, wondering if God will do what He said he will do. As you wait.... trust. As you wait, anticipate the fulfillment of what God has promised you. As you wait, prepare. As you wait, get ready for God to use you to turn hearts to Him. O Come, O Come Emmanuel. I love you in the Lord! Mia Today, my husband, Bob and I are tag team blogging. He really is the brains and wisdom behind most of what I do. I pray it is a blessing to you as we, two completely different people, team up to share life with you. I (Mia) grew up in a pretty traditional and liturgical church as did my husband, Bob. There is something nostalgic and comforting about the traditions that come with the liturgical calendar. Right now is one of those times for me as we enter the season of Advent. This past week as Bob and I were walking along the ocean with our son, he asked us (his wise parents) if Advent was in the Bible to which, I said no and explained to him that there were other traditions that the people of that time celebrated in its place. OK, seriously, I totally made that up. I had no clue what holidays they celebrated at the time that would have correlated with Advent . I simply knew the Advent that I celebrated as a child growing up and the Advent I carry to this day in my heart. Advent, for me, has always been a season of getting ready, a season of preparation, a season of longing for the celebration of Jesus's birth... and a longing to sing some of those sacred and treasured Christmas hymns that are sung best with a candle in hand as the lights are dimmed in the sanctuary on Christmas Eve and not a moment before. So as we walked along the coast, I listened to my husband, who is not as creative in his story telling as I am, simply share the facts and talk of the Advent he knows. Instead of trying to remember his heart, I will let him take the pen ( keyboard) from here as he shares now with you what he so gently spoke to us along the ocean this past week. As I , Bob, reflect on this season, I am reminded that Advent is a time of preparation. A preparation for not only the observance of Christmas but also as we prepare our hearts for Jesus second coming. In Advent we have a time set aside to look forward to what is to come. The obvious part of this is the celebration of Jesus birth. The challenging part is the preparing for the return of Jesus. This is where we are like God's people of the Old Testament. They were instructed to prepare and wait for the coming Messiah. The people of Israel weren't all exactly sure what they were waiting for or when He would come. Some had even given up hope that the Messiah would be coming. Many generations of Israelites prepared for the coming Messiah only to not have Him come during their lifetime. Many Christians, me included, are often lulled into the same type of thinking. We are ready for Jesus to return, but are we really ready? Are we ready for the long expectant Jesus? The word Advent is a version of the Latin word which means coming. Advent also reminds us that we do not go to God, but He comes to us. He came to us in the form of Jesus many years ago. He comes to us in the way the Holy Spirit pursues us. He comes to us when we need Him most. Jesus will return and put an end to this world. He will come to us and usher in a new time of paradise. Are we ready? As Bob poses this question to us as a community, to us as a family, I have to stop and ponder the reality of what my answer is. Oh that I may be ready, Oh that I may long in expectation. Oh that we ARE ready for the Advent of our King!. We love you in the Lord, Bob & Mia Koehne |
The BlogA collection of writings from a life based on the truth that about midnight anything can happen. AuthorAs an imperfect servant of the Lord, I often feel I am fumbling my way through life, looking upward for guidance and outward to love. So, I write about it, to break up the noise in my head. Categories
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