I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and I struggle. I struggle with Anxiety, trust and depression. I am hopeful because of the struggle, it means I have not given up, It means that I continue to battle. It means that God is not done with me yet. #TheStruggleIsReal

Sunday, I found myself in the battle. I did not know why I was immobile, unable to move, feeling heavy and sad. All I knew is that by 4pm, after a day of isolating myself from my family, their activities and conversations, I could either continue to lay down or I could get up and FIGHT. I chose to fight. I chose to move through the heaviness, to move through the sadness and the weight of my unknown grief.

So, I got on my dancing shoes (my trail-runners) and I hit the mountain. My husband joined me. My husband, who also did not know the source of my sadness, walked with me, he hiked with me and he ran beside me quietly as we hit the trails. And then it happened, around mile three, I could feel the weight lifting and my eyes open to see the light of the new day. Then, by our fifth mile, I felt like a brand new person.

Depression has a way of creeping in unexpectedly, lurking and crouching, hoping that we will continue to lay in it, continue to listen to it and believe what it has to say. Depression thrives on immobility.

​As someone that has struggled with depression most of my life, I know that in the intricacy of how I am made, that I may continue to struggle with it until I am called home to heaven, sometimes alone, sometimes with someone walking beside me, sometimes with some saying (after a few days) "Get up off the couch and move!" I believe that there is truth to what the medical field has said regarding the benefits of exercise to combat depression. There is something in the way that we are designed that allows movement to re-set us and help us to dig ourselves out of the funk that we can be in.

For those of us that struggle occasionally and those that struggle often, know that there is hope. Sometimes, we fight alone, sometimes we fight with someone beside us, sometimes we fight with the aid of medication and sometimes....no, ALL THE TIME we fight with the the Lord at our side.

The Lord says that we can cast all of our cares, even when we don't know what they are, upon him. The Lord, who says that His yoke is easy and His burden light, calls us to take His yoke on us. The Lord will never leave us or forsake us in our sadness or in our struggles. Our Lord, who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imaging is by our side.

Today, if this is you, fight. Fight to move. Fight to lift your eyes up to the source of life and light. Fight to get up. You got this, because He's got you!

As one who remembers, I love you in the Lord,
​Mia

Welcome! My weekly blog will now be hosted here, on my new website and I am, oh so, excited to introduce you to the new format.

Ok, in reality, not much has changed... a bit of the website content, the fact that my blog will be integrated into the website and a new web address. All of those things are fine and dandy, but the name change for my website is probably the biggest factor for me.

Close to ten years ago, back in Chicago, when God first called me into ministry, my life and resources were much different. I barely used the computer and had not even heard of Facebook, Twitter or social media. I think I had a cell phone but all I used it for was making occasional phone calls. Imagine that, a phone used solely for the purpose of phone calls. It seems so foreign to me now as I conduct so much of my work via my smartphone.

My former website address was based off of Acts 16:25-26.

It was powerful passage in my life at the time and became the foundation for the music I wrote and the ministry God entrusted to me. Naturally then, when I was thinking of names for my website, www.aboutmidnight was it!

Today, the mission and vision have not changed. But the reality that I now have facebook accounts, twitter accounts, Linked In, Pinterest and Instagram accounts all under the name of Mia Koehne, I thought it was time to be consistent. Hence, the new website under address, www.miakoehne.com. Acts 16:25-26 continue to be the foundational verses that propel me forward in ministry and fuel me to press on to make Him known.

Sometimes change is hard even over things that seem quite trivial. In the grand scheme of life, changing one's website is not a big deal, but sometimes little changes give us an opportunity to reflect on what was, what is and what is yet to come; a chance to re-evaluate, refine and confirm one's call in life. That's what it did for me. I fought the name change for a while (for a couple years, at least), but God has used the struggle to give me tender moments with Him, reminding me why I do what I do. #SoliDeoGlori

Ten years....It's been amazing. Today looks nothing like I ever would have dreamed and I can only imagine what the next ten years will bring. What I do know is that God is continually making all things new in me and in you. 

Will you embrace the new things to come in your life with open hands and un-clenched fists? A name change is minor, but what God will do through the little changes in our lives is a pretty momentous thing. Hold on and enjoy the ride. 

I love you in the Lord, Mia

I love looking at before and after shots. Sometimes they are so drastic that I spend more time than is necessary trying to figure out if that really is the same person. You can see some similarities, but the transformation, most of the time through weight-loss, makes them look like a whole new person...on the outside.

As I was spending time in the Word of God today, I was struck by change. Jesus changed lives. When He touched them, they were never the same, sometimes on the outside, but mostly and most importantly on the inside. He cleansed the lepers, He drove out demons, he healed the sick, he raised the dead and HE FORGAVE SINS.

Through the past decade or so, I have gone though changes. I have lost weight drastically, but even though I looked really good, my heart was in a bad place. God changed my heart during that time, I gained weight back, but more importantly, I was brought back into a right relationship with Christ. He healed me.

Recently, I have put on a nice 40 pounds, which I am working to loose through balanced exercise and wise eating choices, but regardless I know where my heart and my trust lie.... In Christ Jesus.

I think about the times when I lacked discretion and I mad really poor decisions that almost destroyed my family, left me out on the street and separated me from fellowship with other believers.

I may have looked really good to some, but the reality is that I looked like this (see picture below) to my husband.

All those years ago, I lacked discretion, I made horrible choices, BUT GOD healed me. It is because of God's healing hand, redemption and forgiveness that I was able to begin to make wise choices, choices for life and not death, choices that allowed my husband to look at me and see the AFTER version of me in Christ.

Yes, drastic change. I am not who I was.
I am a child of God, an heir to the Kingdom of Heaven. 
I am a child of the King!

Who are you?
Do you know the truth about your identity?
If not, ask me and let me tell you about my Lord, let me tell you about YOU!

I used to be a really good liar and a really good cheater.....Then God changed my life. Now (by God's grace) I am horrible at it. When I am talking with my family and I (on the super rare occasion) tell a half truth, my family looks at me and asks if I am lying and I say "No, why?" to which they reply "look at your face." Then we just laugh because it's the most horrific poker face ever.....hence why I could never play cards.


I look at it like this. I used to be a hot mess. Now I'm just a mess. But when God changed my life, called me out of the darkness of my lies and self destruction, He also took away my ability to lie well. It's a gift and a curse, especially when someone asks who finished off the ice cream or who had three pieces of pie....oh and who ate the box of Oreos. That's when it really bites me in the butt.

But, for reelz, I count it as a blessing...... a reminder of what God has done in my life. I am not who I used to be. I am done with wearing fake masks, lying to those I love, sneaking around and just hiding the way I feel.

Do you ever get tired of wearing a mask or being so good at faking that you almost believe the lie yourself? Been there....Done that! When I submitted my life to Christ, He gave me the gift of being my own lie detector and I thank Him for it.

It has it's perks in that it keeps me accountable and it has it's down side in that people know exactly what I'm thinking and feeling by my facial expressions. I have had friends comment on numerous occasions that they can tell when I am not happy, when I am frustrated, when things make me cringe, but they also tell me that they know when I am happy, when I am grateful and when I am thankful. So I count it as a blessing.

My prayer is that God would do whatever He has to do to make us Holy in every situation. For me, He helps me not to lie and lets me get caught if I do.

I have been reading through the Bible and I was so deeply spoken to through the account of the Israelites leaving the Egyptians. Repeatedly God allowed and did things SO THAT the people and Pharaoh would know that He is Lord of all. God went to great lengths to show His people that He is God by taking them out of Egypt and into the wilderness and eventually the Promised Land.

"I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. The Egyptians will know that I am the Lord when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen." Exodus 14:17-18

"And when the Israelites saw the mighty hand of the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant." Exodus 14:31

I am thankful that God desires that we know Him and still today, will go out of His way to make sure we know that He is Lord. "He MAKES us lie down in green pastures and LEADS us beside still waters, He restores my soul"

We are works in progress, Holy and Redeemed, set apart and Loved.
#IamMyOwnLieDetector

As I was driving to a women's event tonight that I was singing and speaking at, I spent time praying, going over my set list in my head and talking through my testimony. Thinking about my testimony and all the patterns of living that God had redeemed me from, I said to the Lord "Man, I used to be such a whore, such a slut. If people really knew how bad and lost I was would they really want to listen to anything I had to say?"......to which God always replies "Yes, it is in your weakness that I am strong. I have redeemed it all, now go and tell people how forgiving and strong I AM!"

It was a short conversation. But then He said to me "You know, Mia, you really WERE a slut." Through that whisper He showed me what a slut really was.... what I really was....and what I am no more. It wasn't about the guys or the partying; the drinking or the sneaking around behind my families back, no, it was about one thing. Then he gave me this acronym and opened my eyes to the truth. He said you were Someone Longing to Understand the Treasure that you were.

It all made sense. Because of my misconceptions of who I was, the lack of believing the truth that I was dearly loved and forgiven, I went on a search for anything to fill the hole that I felt was in my life as I longed to understand the treasure. Little did I know, so many years ago, that the answer was found in Jesus and Jesus alone!

I am no longer a bad S.L.U.T but a good S.L.U.T
I am now Someone Living in the Understanding of the Treasure

PS. There's nothing like worship leading, sharing your testimony and coming right out to a group of women that you don't know and telling them I used to be a SLUT!  Come to find out there were a lot of us there who now stand redeemed living under a new understanding. Thank Be To God!!

II Corinthians 4:7-10

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

**Please pray as I dig deeper into the S.L.U.T theme and share and teach from God's Word on this subject.