This post originally appeared on the Deliberate Women site September 26th, 2014. I am excited to share it with you now, here and continue the conversation.
I am so thankful that I, as high maintenance as I can be, am never too much for God. It seems like a no brainier statement, but the reality is that there have been times when I have thought that the junk I have is too much for Him and because it's too much for Him how on earth could anyone in my church or my circle of friends handle the truth.
I often share about the disaster that I was because I know that God has done a mighty work and I love what He is molding me into. Yes, still flawed, but a work in progress and a new creation through the power of Christ Jesus!
It took a lot to get me there, but one of the biggest assets I had while being molded was an amazing ministry called Celebrate Recovery, a Christ centered recovery program that started over 20 years ago at Saddleback Church in California. Now, in over 20,000 churches world-wide, Celebrate Recovery addresses that we have hurts, hang-ups and habits and that alone life is hard, but in community and with accountability rooted in the foundation of Jesus Christ, we have healing, recovery and fellowship.
When I thought that what I was going through was too much, that the world would judge me and even now when I struggle, I know that I have a place that is safe, free from judgement and quick fixes. A place that will walk alongside me in my struggle, not trying to fix me, but allowing God through the power of the Holy Spirit to speak, reveal and heal each hurt, habit or hang-up that I am going through.
The lie that what I am going through is too much for the church seems to be a device of Satan to keep me (and you) from reaching out, to keep us in isolation. I don't know about you, but that seems like the worse place to be in the midst of a struggle.
So sisters and brothers, let's remember that we are not alone. There is a place and there are people that are safe that can totally handle the crud that we carry. That same crud that God will turn to victory when we surrender to His will.
I pray that God would reveal those people and places to each of us so that we will feel safe confessing our sins, growing together and watching God do amazing things with our stories as He uses them for His glory!
Here is a song that I wrote for the Movie, Home Run, "You Are Not Alone" Remember that there are people that will walk along side you.
You are not too much, You are not Alone!
Blessings, Mia Koehne
There I was, knees on the floor in a crowded room, singing (crying) out to God. The band played on and those in attendance continued to worship, yet somehow I found myself disconnected from the stage and intimately connected to the song of the spirit. The song that I sang as I worshiped the Lord.
Has that ever happened to you? One minute your up, standing with your peeps, and the next minute you are overwhelmed by the gravity and power of the words that you are singing and you find yourself down on your knees before the Lord (Physically or emotionally.)
That is where I found myself. I don't exactly really remember the moment when I decided to walk off the stage, but I do remember this... I remember the voice in my spirit saying "We don't need you to usher in the Holy spirit. We don't even need you to stand on this stage, so get off!" (The Lord always has to be very direct with me...I'm pretty stubborn.)
So, off I went to stand with the congregation, to worship with them and not AT them. Off I went as God simply took the spotlight off of me to refocus our eyes, all of our eyes, on what really mattered. You see what the congregation, what I, at that moment really needed wasn't someone standing in front of them, what we all needed was a sweet intimacy with no distractions as we, all together, in one voice, cried out to him to "Flood this place and fill the atmosphere..to be overwhelmed by his presence."
There is a tender place that we stand in the work of God. A place of acknowledging that we are not necessarily needed, yet we still answer the call to be used. God doesn't need me to sing on a microphone and stand in front of people, but you know what, He sure does use me for his glory as I say "Yes, Lord, I will sing."
Even as the call is answered, there are the moments, when God reminds me that He is fine with out me and we can stop hogging the stage. And, at the same time, He delights in using me... you, to shine a light on what matters, His glory.
May we stand in that most holy, intimate and beautiful place of being used by God because we say "Yes" to Him, not because He can't do it without us, but because He loves us and wants to do it with and through us.
A collection of writings from a life based on the truth that about midnight anything can happen.
As an imperfect servant of the Lord, I often feel I am fumbling my way through life, looking upward for guidance and outward to love. So, I write about it, to break up the noise in my head.