I have a routine (feel free to judge me, I'm okay with that.) I shop on Amazon and then return the things that don’t work at the Kohl's Amazon return center. While I'm there I check the clearance section, then I cross the street, drop off any donations I have at Goodwill and do a quick walk through. On my phone there is a running list of things I'm looking for at Goodwill and I wait patiently (sometimes months) for them to arrive. I also have my eye on a few things at Kohl's, waiting for them to go on sale or to make it to the clearance section when I can use some of that great Kohl's cash and coupons I have stored up. One of the items on my Kohl's list is a beautiful artificial tree. I have looked at it for over 6 months, stalking it to the point that one Kohl's attendant thought I was up to no good. After she saw my love of this tree she told me it should go on sale soon. Well, it didn’t. I continued to check on it. Then all of the sudden it was gone. I was so sad. In the meantime, I would check Goodwill to see if someone had donated one, but no luck there either. On my last Kohl's walk through, I saw it! They moved it to a new and obscure location. There it was, my tree and it was 20% off and I had an additional 20% off coupon. This was the day I had been waiting for. The tree was $199 marked down to $159 but with my extra coupon it would now be $127. I was ready to go and then…. I thought about my budget. The fact that things have been a little tight and we have some big added expenses caused my husband and I to tightening our belts on the non essentials. So, I was now in a bit of a pickle. My wants vs. my needs. Urgh! I conversed with God saying “But God you know how long I have waited for this. This is the exception, right?” I looked at a smaller tree, not exactly the one I wanted, trying to rationalize my less expensive wants over what was needed. I found myself sadly walking away. I knew I made the right choice for our situation at the time, but it wasn't fun. I did ask God for one little thing. “God, you know how much I wanted that tree and how long I have waited. Could you just give me a little God wink and honor this choice I made and make this tree appear in Goodwill when I cross the street right now?” Please hear my heart, I’m not saying our actions deserve rewards from God. It was simply the prayer of my disappointed heart at the moment. I went to Goodwill, dropped off my donations, checked the half price color tag of the day to see if anything on my list matched. I began casually strolling the aisles seeing if I could catch any deals on things we needed. By this time, I had actually forgotten the conversation I had with the Lord, just 10 minutes earlier. So when I saw MY TREE right there, I stopped and said “wait, what.. God?” I instantly remembered that little prayer of my heart, not actually expecting the Lord to even care, but there it was . There HE WAS. I looked at this tree (that wasn't even half off) and paid full price for it! Yeah, you heard me! I paid the full $8 for it. Granted, it wasn’t as healthy and leafy as the Kohl's version, which is why I'm hiding half of it behind a chair. My "Goodwill, God Wink" Tree had a few miles on it, needed to be dusted off and cleaned up, but to me this tree was a reminder that I really needed in the season I'm in. The comfort of knowing God still sees me, still cares and wants to remind me that He will handle the things in my life that are out of my control was the perfect gift. I needed a God wink and I needed it this day. Each time I look at my “Charlie Brown” tree that's missing several branches and leaves, I will remember that God is near, He hears and He really does care. If He cares about a silly tree, how much more does he care about the things that truly matter. He cares, He sees, He loves.
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There I was, knees on the floor in a crowded room, singing (crying) out to God. The band played on and those in attendance continued to worship, yet somehow I found myself disconnected from the stage and intimately connected to the song of the spirit. The song that I sang as I worshiped the Lord.
Has that ever happened to you? One minute your up, standing with your peeps, and the next minute you are overwhelmed by the gravity and power of the words that you are singing and you find yourself down on your knees before the Lord (Physically or emotionally.) That is where I found myself. I don't exactly really remember the moment when I decided to walk off the stage, but I do remember this... I remember the voice in my spirit saying "We don't need you to usher in the Holy spirit. We don't even need you to stand on this stage, so get off!" (The Lord always has to be very direct with me...I'm pretty stubborn.) So, off I went to stand with the congregation, to worship with them and not AT them. Off I went as God simply took the spotlight off of me to refocus our eyes, all of our eyes, on what really mattered. You see what the congregation, what I, at that moment really needed wasn't someone standing in front of them, what we all needed was a sweet intimacy with no distractions as we, all together, in one voice, cried out to him to "Flood this place and fill the atmosphere..to be overwhelmed by his presence." There is a tender place that we stand in the work of God. A place of acknowledging that we are not necessarily needed, yet we still answer the call to be used. God doesn't need me to sing on a microphone and stand in front of people, but you know what, He sure does use me for his glory as I say "Yes, Lord, I will sing." Even as the call is answered, there are the moments, when God reminds me that He is fine with out me and we can stop hogging the stage. And, at the same time, He delights in using me... you, to shine a light on what matters, His glory. May we stand in that most holy, intimate and beautiful place of being used by God because we say "Yes" to Him, not because He can't do it without us, but because He loves us and wants to do it with and through us. As I stood there, singing songs of praise and worship to the Lord I love so dearly, I suddenly found myself speechless, unable to sing, unable to lift my hands and unable to breathe. Tears became my language, tears became my song, tears became my very breath as I desperately tried to turn away as each moment I was drawn in deeper. My eyes caught a glimpse of what would ultimately wreck me and tear me apart inside. I was overwhelmed. I was changes and I was renewed. From the corner of my eye, while the band was playing, the congregation singing and clapping, the fog and the lights blazing, I saw two women standing face to face with each other. The first women in the midst of worship simply held the hands of the women who was facing her while her back was to the stage. The women, whom I recognized as one of the interpreters for the deaf, gently swayed with the other women while she signed the song of praise into her hands. Together the stood with their eyes closed and they worshipped. What I witnessed was the greatest worship leader I have ever seen leading a women who was blind and deaf into the presence of the King of Kings. And not only that, she lead me into the deepest moments of worship that I would ever experience up until this point in my life. I was wrecked. I was flooded with the reality of how far we must go to reach people for Christ. I was a part of a congregation that day that did whatever it took to make sure no one left hungry, that all were able to receive the Word of God and worship Him in spirit and in truth. The lengths that Christ went for us was again made a reality for me in that moment when I saw the length of what the body of Christ is called to do so that all can hear, see, touch and know the gospel of Jesus Christ. It was a precious moment that God allowed me to be a part of. It was my Hellen Keller 2017 moment. I will treasure it in my heart forever. May we too be encouraged to go as far as it takes to make sure people have the means to receive the gospel and be drawn into worhip the Mighty King of Kings. May we be wrecked for Christ so that we can fall on our knees and worship Him like we never have before. May we not only hear and see, but may we also touch people with the gospel of Christ so that they will know. How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? Romans 10:14 We are called to listen, love, and obey. I am fully aware that we may not always see the fruit of our love and the fruit of our obedience, but what I marvel at today is how God sometimes allows us little glimpses of the seeds we plant and the investments we make in others lives as we live out Jesus.
Today was such a day for me. I decided to run into the Fry's store near the high school where I was making my after school pick-ups. I normally don't go there, mostly because I like my local Frys, the one by my house where I know how to find everything, but today I did. After grabbing a few thing and loading my car, I was approached by a man selling his jewelry. He asked if I wanted to buy any. I looked at him with a big smile and said "I know you!" Confused, he asked me how. I shared with him how some time ago, I met him in a different parking lot and he was asking for some money so he could purchase some inventory to sell. Since I typically don't hand out large amounts of cash to strangers, I offered to meet him at the shop and buy the perfume for him as an investment into his business (an investment into his life). Suddenly he remembered our fleeting encounter. He was able to then share with me what that meant to him and how important that investment was, because what I did not remember was the fact that at the time he was homeless, struggling to make ends meat. That little investment in his life was pivotal when he needed it most. Today, he is no longer homeless, but thriving, working, creating art in jewelry and still smiling BIG. I was reminded today that sometimes we are called to pour into other's lives simply because God says so, even when it is inconvenient and others think we are crazy. Sometimes, like today, we get to see a bit of the fruit of our obedience, but most of the time we don't. But still, we obey, love and pour into other's SO THAT they can turn and pour into someone else. I feel blessed to have gotten the opportunity to see that Aaron is doing well. If you ever see him, make sure to say "hi" and grab a bracelet. Love you in the Lord, Mia Today I opened a new devotional that a sweet new friend gave to me. It's called "At the Feet of Jesus-Daily Devotions to Nurture a Mary Heart" by Joanna Weaver. Even more precious for me is that the woman who gave it to me exemplifies someone with a Mary heart who truly does sit at the feet of Jesus, Joanna Weaver herself. As I opened the book I couldn't wait to see what I would read on the July 21st date. I was preparing myself to be blown away. Funny thing is, I was, but not in the way that I thought. I was blown away in the simplicity of the stillness that this days devotional writing brought, and how it basically stopped me in my tracks. The devotion pulled from a book called "The Indwelling Life of Christ" where Major Ian Thomas talked about our lives being lived for Christ. At the end of this Joanna points the reader to Acts 4:13 "Now when they beheld the boldness of Peter and John, and had perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus." Joanna then asks the simple, yet powerful question "What would you like people to note about your life?" There it was...BOOM. It hit me like a ton of bricks. The way it spoke to me, it wasn't asking about all the believers who come to my concerts, the women I speak to at retreats, the readers of my blogs, my children, my husband and all those who think so highly of me. For me, it was asking what do I want the people of this world, those who are lost, hurting, without Christ, living in the dark to take note about my life. What do I want THEM to see. It made me reflect and ask myself, what does the world see through me. It reminded me that the world IS taking note whether I like it or not. It caused me to pause, it caused me to pray. It caused me to think about my response. So, as a reminder to me, to keep me accountable, I want to share it with you. This is what I wrote down... "That I trust God...no matter what...good, bad, joy, uncertain times. That I simply believe what He says." More eloquently translated, I want the world to somehow take note that in times of trouble and pain, I kept my head up when most people would have hunched over in despair, because there was something greater than me, greater than my circumstances that kept my head up even when I didn't have the strength to lift it. I want the world to know that in times of joy, that I lived for something beyond my own ambitions and the things that brought me true joy may not have been the things that most people would have strived to live for. I hope they would see that there was a quiet and boisterous joy that overflowed in my life, a joy that knew how to rejoice with others, a joy that knew how to rejoice in pain even if the world thought I was crazy. I hope they would take note of these things and then ask themselves "Why?" and I pray that they would see clearly through their seeking that it was and is Jesus, simply, powerfully and inexplicably Jesus. Jesus, Jesus. My friend, this day, I ask you the same question that Joanna asked me through her book "What would you like people to note about YOUR life?" I love you in the Lord, Mia |
The BlogA collection of writings from a life based on the truth that about midnight anything can happen. AuthorAs an imperfect servant of the Lord, I often feel I am fumbling my way through life, looking upward for guidance and outward to love. So, I write about it, to break up the noise in my head. Categories
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