It's here!! My Birthday!! I actually like to celebrate the entire month with Birthday hikes, Birthday dates, Birthday coffee...any excuse to celebrate, I'll take it. When the big day actually arrives, I'm pretty fatigued from all of the celebrating and most of the world is confused as to when my birthday really is....because of all the excessive celebrating!
So, just to calcify again. IT'S TODAY!!
This year, I celebrate my birth a few hundred miles away from home doing a women's event in San Diego and watching a Padres baseball game... so it's not all bad! Such is the life when your ministry takes you on the road.
Birthdays are a mixed bag of emotions for me as an adopted child. I don't have those conversations with my Mom about the night I was born, how long she was in labor, what did I look like when I came into the world. I don't have those conversations with my Mom, because my mom wasn't there.
In fact, the day I was born, she had no clue that I even existed. I'm sure she was going about her usual day, taking care of the six other children she had, probably not imagining that a seventh would soon invade her life and more importantly her heart.
It wouldn't be until six weeks after my birth that my Mom and Dad would get an emergency phone call to take in a little baby girl that had not left the hospital yet, a little baby that didn't have the consistent love of a care-giver, but was looked after by nurses on rotation.
What was originally supposed to be a short-term foster care situation turned into 12 years of foster care. After those years passed, I stood before a judge and said "I want Paul and Joan Grotelueschen to be my parents" and I was officially adopted.
So on this April 22, my birthday, I sit and reflect on the fact that I may not be able to say "Hey, Mom, remember the day I was born?" but I have so much more, like remembering the fact that unbeknownst to my parents on this day, the Lord was stirring, preparing, and orchestrating the greatest gift and birthday present I could have ever asked for.... a Mom, a Dad, and six amazing siblings that would love me forever.
Happy Birthday to me!
April 1st means more to me than April Fools Day. It's the kick off of my annual Birthday Month. And just in case I'm not clear, let me clarify......it's MY birthday month, celebrating ME! No, it's not just ONE day, like my husband gets for his birthday (which is ten days after mine), it's a WHOLE month.
Now if you don't know me well, let me just say that I am the baby of seven children and any stereotypes that one would generally associate with the youngest child all apply to me. Yep, I'm the baby...even at the age of 43, (I mean 29) it still is very evident (at least that's what my family says.)
Now....back to me and my birthday month.... (you see, youngest child syndrome). Another characteristic about me that some people find surprising is that I am extremely shy, introverted and really struggle with a bit a social anxiety. Going out of the house and into social settings is terrifying for me. I hesitate too admit the amount of events I have ducked out of, left early from, or just all out avoided because of the anxiety of being around people.
I think this is hard for people to understand since what I do for a vocation calls me to be in front of people, on a stage, talking, sharing and ministering to people. Yet, here I stand, touched with a bit of anxiety.
What does this have to do with my birthday. EVERYTHING! Like I said before, my birthday month is all about me. It's all about me getting outside of me, all about me loving, all about me serving, all about me reaching out to others even when every ounce of me wants to hide in my home where it is safe and stress free. So, just a heads up...someone check in with me in 20 years and make sure I have not turned into a hermit! Is my social anxiety rational?...NO, yet, it is something that I have to battle consistently.
So there it is. Birthday month IS all about me, not thinking about what holds me back...making the steps to be social...socially awkward all be it, but still social. It's all about me celebrating the life God has given me and the joy that overflows so that I can fellowship with the amazing people God has put in my life.
This is that month that it's all about me catching up on the "Let's do coffee sometime" conversations and actually make a date to do coffee!
This is the month that it's all about me giving of myself until it hurts.
This is the month that it's all about me loving the way God has called me to love.
This is the month that it's all about me going to that party I was invited to and not making excuses.
Yes, friends. This is my birthday month. This is the month that it's all about me!
Sometimes we need a pivotal month to remind us how God calls us to live each day. Maybe it's just me, but I have a feeling others may struggle with the same thing!
So Happy Birthday Year to all of us!
Love you in the Lord!
A collection of writings from a life based on the truth that about midnight anything can happen.
As an imperfect servant of the Lord, I often feel I am fumbling my way through life, looking upward for guidance and outward to love. So, I write about it, to break up the noise in my head.