There is something so crippling beautiful at the moment when God is victorious in spite of our failing ..."My flesh may fail, but my God, He never will." The fact that he uses me still boggles my mind.
With the bread of tears turning to joy, I write this blog entry today. Each day I read through the Bible, the Word of God. It is life to me. I cry EVERY-DAY in His Word, because it is so powerful. It moves, it convicts, it redeems and it changes me....EVERYDAY! Yet, how quickly I get up and forget all that He has said, all that He had done. I am like one of those ridiculous Israelites who witness with their own eyes His miracles and then so easily forget.
Today I read through three chapters in Joshua as they prepare to take the Promised land, I read a Psalm that pierced my soul as I began to sing it out loud. I read 2 chapters in Luke when Jesus spoke of the narrow door, the wedding feast and healed the sick. He spoke truth to Pharisees and challenged ME to give it all up for His sake.
It was there in Luke 13:24 "Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able" that the study notes read "Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to salvation ALL other hopes are misplaced." I highlighted this study note, I circled it, I claimed it as the message I would share next time I am out on stage or at an event, which happens to be tonight. I said "God I will tell your people!!"
I was charged up. I sat at my piano as I often do and began to sing the Word of God. I sang Psalm 80:19 "Restore us, O Lord God of hosts! Let your face shine, that we may be saved!"
While I was singing, I heard a peculiar scratch at the door (my doorbell doesn't work) so I stopped and peeked through the glass and there were two ladies there (beautiful ladies) so I stepped outside to talk to them. They asked if that was me singing and said how beautiful it was. Then they invited me to their church event at the Kingdom Hall, to which I responded "No thank you, I am not a Jehovah Witness, but I am a follower of Jesus Christ" to which they said..So are we..etc. and then off they went. I went back in my house closed the door and instantly my shoulders drooped, I let out a sigh and my heart melted.
I had JUST told God moments before, I would give it all up that I would be strong and courageous, not only that, but I would be VERY strong and VERY courageous, tell those people he puts in front of me "Jesus Christ, the son of God the tribune God, is the ONLY way to salvation and that ALL other hopes are misplaced!!"
I stood their in awe of my epic #FAIL. I felt defeated, I said God why do you use me, I fail so much. I looked back out and they were down the block now under the supervision of some seasoned mentors. I hesitated as typically they do not take anything we hand to them. I held back. I screamed to to the Lord, "GOD BRING THEM BACK, BRING THEM BACK, LET ME SEE THEM WHEN THEY COME BACK AND I WILL TELL THEM!"
In perfect #EPIC God fashion, they looped back the other side of the block. There was a distance between them and their mentors, not a big distance, but I didn't care. I knew that God went before me.
I crossed the street and mentioned to them how they enjoyed my singing and that I wanted to give them a CD with my voice on it for them to listen to. They took it, they kept it, they received it and then I said it....."Ladies I want you to know that your hopes are misplaced. Jesus Christ, the son of God who rose from the dead, the Triune God is your only hope of salvation, ALL other hope is misplaced!"
And with that, I departed, with THAT, I rejoiced at how "My flesh may fail, but my God, He NEVER will. I may be weak, but His spirit is strong in me."
Here is what I learned:
1. I forget so quickly... I need the Word of God by my side at all times, written on my heart and on the tip of my tongue. If I am in the word everyday, how much more to do I need it every moment.
2. As a singer, my stage & platform is NOT my stage and platform.
I thought God was preparing a word for me to share tonight when I sing at an event. No, he was preparing it because He knew who was walking down the street at that moment.
3. I fail all the time...God forgives, God redeems and God gives me another chance.
4. I am reminded that this life is short, there is no time to hesitate. God goes before me, whom shall I fear?
5. My assumptions don't come into play when I roll with the King of Kings.....I thought they would not accept my CD or my word, but God knew they would. So now I pray for the truth to bloom!
Why do I share this with you, this failure of mine? I share it because God is victorious even when we fail. Don't beat yourself up, keep your eyes open. God has prepared, in advance, amazing things for us to be a part of. Be ready when the opportunity knocks (literally sometimes at your door.)
I share so that my past (even though it was a short time ago) is not your future. God redeems our failures because He is just that kind of a God. Mighty to save!
A collection of writings from a life based on the truth that about midnight anything can happen.
As an imperfect servant of the Lord, I often feel I am fumbling my way through life, looking upward for guidance and outward to love. So, I write about it, to break up the noise in my head.