There is still a voice in my head that has to speak to the little girl inside of me and remind her that she is not an accident, that she is not abandoned, that she is seen and loved.
There are times when those emotions get stirred up more than others and this past weekend was one of them. Conversations that I have never had before with people about my past... good conversations, but still difficult to understand, brought back questions that I thought I had resolved and new questions that I never imagined to ask.
As I sat with these new thoughts, I found the tears rolling down my face were really the only means to communicate my heart to the Lord. They shared with God what my words would have only fumbled through. And He heard me. He comforted me.
The pain and the sting isn't quite gone, but that's okay because through it I am able to hear a voice that is louder than my doubts. I can still hear the voice of God.
I have been struggling the last few weeks in leading a particular worship song at my events. I even told my husband "I am trashing this song because I just can't seem to get it right."
But, through this momentary trial, I know that now, as I sing this song, I will be singing it from a place that I would not have sung it before. I will be singing and leading from a place that has struggled, is struggling, yet still stands confidently in what God says about me.
"I am chosen, not forsaken, I am who He says I am"
I'm taking THAT thought captive and standing on the promises of God. "He is for me, not against me."
My friends, He is for YOU too. If you, like me, at times feel forgotten, abandoned and alone, can I just encourage you to cry out to God... scream out to Him... ask Him to remind you, by any means necessary, that you are loved.
2/13/2020 08:47:41 am
Amen! Thank you for your encouragement!! Nothing can snatch us. Amen & AMEN!! - Mia Koehne
2/13/2020 08:50:44 am
God was leading you to a place to "fix" the song. Personal growth is difficult. We are on this journey to become better versions of ourselves and to fulfill our mission here. Thank you for sharing. Hugs!💜
2/13/2020 01:34:39 pm
Yes and Amen.... May we be more like Jesus everyday!!
2/13/2020 09:53:54 am
Thank you for your encouragement Mia..there have been times that we all feel unwanted or unappreciated..during those times we need to remember God is always with us as the Great Encourager..Our Lord holds us all in the Palms of His Hands keeping us safe..God’s Blessings Mia
2/13/2020 01:37:08 pm
Yes He does!! Thank you for your words and reminder!
2/13/2020 01:20:01 pm
Mia; You are a Warrior. Your story impacts many lives . I was not adopted but I did have a very hard childhood full of trauma; your words impacted me November 2,2019 when I attended an Aspire event. I was given a free ticket to that event from a lady I attend church with; I wasn't sure if I would actually attend as I live with social anxiety and have never attended something like this before. I am blessed that God has put on your heart to share your strength and struggles with us. These words get me through the rough moments.
2/13/2020 01:38:33 pm
So glad that you were able to come that day. Praise God for what He is doing in our lives to heal and restore
2/13/2020 05:54:15 pm
Thank you Mia, You are God's Beautiful Daughter. He made you and Loves you. Thank you for sharing and encouraging us. We are Chosen.
2/14/2020 12:25:31 pm
Yes we are! Amen!!
2/13/2020 08:29:39 pm
My circumstances are different from yours. PTSD. Sometimes the struggle of battling feelings with God's truth seems overwhelming. It is a process. While learning how to overcome the temptation to give up trying, the Lord blessed me with a vision. I could see myself lying at the bottom of a deep pit. Then I saw a translucent figure in me, yet bigger than me, and identified that to be the Holy Spirit. Following that view, there was another figure, which I identified as Christ in me. Once that occurred my perspective changed as I saw the view of looking up from the bottom of the pit. There was a hand reaching down from the top of the pit to help me out, which I identified as the Heavenly Father. The vision changed to my standing with the Holy Spirit and Christ Jesus, Who held up my arms to help me grab on to the hand of the Father and be pulled out of that pit. I pray God helps you pull out of life's pits each and every time satan tries to drag you down.
2/14/2020 12:27:19 pm
Praise God for His encouragement, vision, and rescuing hand to you!! Hallelujah!! He is always faithful.
2/17/2020 08:11:04 am
We loved having you at Salem. You were most inspiring! Loved your song, "I Am Chosen"
2/23/2020 03:30:58 pm
I LOVED being there! Thanks for being a part of it! - Mia
2/17/2020 09:35:55 am
Thank you for sharing your life experiences. It’s a hard and humbling thing to do, blessedly, your path has encouraged me and I’m sure will encourage and inspire many more.
2/23/2020 03:32:11 pm
Amen to that! What a honor it is that we have to share SO THAT others see Jesus more clearly! - Mia
2/19/2020 06:48:46 pm
“and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
2/23/2020 03:32:57 pm
Amen!! Thanks for sharing His Word!
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A collection of writings from a life based on the truth that about midnight anything can happen.
As an imperfect servant of the Lord, I often feel I am fumbling my way through life, looking upward for guidance and outward to love. So, I write about it, to break up the noise in my head.