Oftentimes, I sit in my backroom with my piano and make up songs, not to record or sell, but simply as a way to worship my Lord. This is how my music ministry started (sitting at the piano singing prayers to my Savior) and this is what will never change. My songs are prayers to my Lord..... Imperfect, flawed, not completely structured, but simply what comes out as I sit and worship. This is what I prayed today. 

Welcome to my "Backroom Prayers"

"You See Me Through" by Mia Koehne c.2014
You are My savior and I need You every hour.
You part the waters of my sorrow and my doubt.

You see me through
You see me through
You see me through
And I will worship You

Trials and temptations come all common to this world
But God your faithful giving strength to do Your will

You see me through
You see me through
You see me through
And I will worship You

Though I may wander, I may fall
Your grace sufficient for it all
My sin so calloused and so mean
Your mercy flowing like the streams of life
Now I'm alive!

You are My Savior and I need You every hour.
You part the waters of my sorrow and my doubt.

There is something so crippling beautiful at the moment when God is victorious in spite of our failing ..."My flesh may fail, but my God, He never will." The fact that he uses me still boggles my mind.

With the bread of tears turning to joy, I write this blog entry today. Each day I read through the Bible, the Word of God. It is life to me. I cry EVERY-DAY in His Word, because it is so powerful. It moves, it convicts, it redeems and it changes me....EVERYDAY! Yet, how quickly I get up and forget all that He has said, all that He had done. I am like one of those ridiculous Israelites who witness with their own eyes His miracles and then so easily forget.

Today I read through three chapters in Joshua as they prepare to take the Promised land, I read a Psalm that pierced my soul as I began to sing it out loud. I read 2 chapters in Luke when Jesus spoke of the narrow door, the wedding feast and healed the sick. He spoke truth to Pharisees and challenged ME to give it all up for His sake.

It was there in Luke 13:24 "Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able" that the study notes read "Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to salvation ALL other hopes are misplaced." I highlighted this study note, I circled it, I claimed it as the message I would share next time I am out on stage or at an event, which happens to be tonight. I said "God I will tell your people!!"

I was charged up. I sat at my piano as I often do and began to sing the Word of God. I sang Psalm 80:19 "Restore us, O Lord God of hosts! Let your face shine, that we may be saved!"

While I was singing, I heard a peculiar scratch at the door (my doorbell doesn't work)  so I stopped and peeked through the glass and there were two ladies there (beautiful ladies) so I stepped outside to talk to them. They asked if that was me singing and said how beautiful it was. Then they invited me to their church event at the Kingdom Hall, to which I responded "No thank you, I am not a Jehovah Witness, but I am a follower of Jesus Christ" to which they said..So are we..etc. and then off they went. I went back in my house closed the door and instantly my shoulders drooped, I let out a sigh and my heart melted.

I had JUST told God moments before, I would give it all up that I would be strong and courageous, not only that, but I would be VERY strong and VERY courageous, tell those people he puts in front of me "Jesus Christ, the son of God the tribune God, is the ONLY way to salvation and that ALL other hopes are misplaced!!"

I stood their in awe of my epic #FAIL. I felt defeated, I said God why do you use me, I fail so much. I looked back out and they were down the block now under the supervision of some seasoned mentors. I hesitated as typically they do not take anything we hand to them. I held back. I screamed to to the Lord, "GOD BRING THEM BACK, BRING THEM BACK, LET ME SEE THEM WHEN THEY COME BACK AND I WILL TELL THEM!"

In perfect #EPIC God fashion, they looped back the other side of the block. There was a distance between them and their mentors, not a big distance, but I didn't care. I knew that God went before me.

I crossed the street and mentioned to them how they enjoyed my singing and that I wanted to give them a CD with my voice on it for them to listen to. They took it, they kept it, they received it and then I said it....."Ladies I want you to know that your hopes are misplaced. Jesus Christ, the son of God who rose from the dead, the Triune God is your only hope of salvation, ALL other hope is misplaced!"

And with that, I departed, with THAT,  I rejoiced at how "My flesh may fail, but my God, He NEVER will. I may be weak, but His spirit is strong in me."

Here is what I learned:
1. I forget so quickly... I need the Word of God by my side at all times, written on my heart and on the tip of my tongue. If I am in the word everyday, how much more to do I need it every moment.

2. As a singer, my stage & platform is NOT my stage and platform.
I thought God was preparing a word for me to share tonight when I sing at an event. No, he was preparing it because He knew who was walking down the street at that moment.

3. I fail all the time...God forgives, God redeems and God gives me another chance.

4. I am reminded that this life is short, there is no time to hesitate. God goes before me, whom shall I fear?

5. My assumptions don't come into play when I roll with the King of Kings.....I thought they would not accept my CD or my word, but God knew they would. So now I pray for the truth to bloom!

Why do I share this with you, this failure of mine? I share it because God is victorious even when we fail. Don't beat yourself up, keep your eyes open. God has prepared, in advance, amazing things for us to be a part of. Be ready when the opportunity knocks (literally sometimes at your door.)

I share so that my past (even though it was a short time ago) is not your future. God redeems our failures because He is just that kind of a God. Mighty to save!

One of the things that I love about my music producer, Jeff McCullough, (he's the one with the Mohawk) is that he always tells me like it is. When I sound bad, he does not hesitate to let me know it. He asks me questions and guides me in searching every emotion and truth connected with each line that comes out of my mouth. "Don't sing it if you don't believe it" he says. And he covers our sessions, recording, mixing and mastering in prayer.

On this last project he said this to me. "Mia, you owe it to the writers and the audience to be totally honest in your interpretation of the song, stop listening to the voices in your head." Recording music is a ministry. It captures my heart and is forever out there for people to hear. So I don't take it lightly. There are tears shed in each recording project through the struggle over lines, notes and songs. I tend to think of Jeff as my therapist as well. Kudos for producers that have to deal with emotionally sensitive and sometimes unstable artists. They ROCK!!

THE BIG CHALLENGE HE GAVE:
My producer asked me the other week "If you could do a duet with ANYONE living or dead, who would it be?" I answered him and then he said "So what is stopping you." My reply was that I didn't ask. So I followeded through, dared to ask this person and he said, "Yes!" #CRAZY. So, now my prayer is this...whatever comes out of it, I pray that it shines a light on Christ. May it be excellent and praiseworthy...... May it be my best offering to the Lord #SoliDeoGlori.

What does someone need to challenge you to do today? 
Go Nike it! #JustDoIt #SoliDeoGlori
(I don't know about you, but so much of what I do is because someone loved me enough to give me a swift kick in the butt and encourage to do it...Consider yourself kicked!!)

"You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." James 4:2-3

PS, I am fully aware that my use of hash-tags means nothing in this blog...Can't help it!

This picture reminds me of a period in my life about three years ago.

God told me to prepare my music, assemble a band and practice. That meant a lot of practicing in the "hallway" until he opened the door. At times it got frustrating, at times it caused others to not want to hang in for the long haul.

Yet, God told me to continue to practice, to continue to prepare. I didn't understand it. As I talked with a good friend, she asked me, "What if God never opens the door, will you continue to prepare?"

My answer and what kept me going was my reply of "yes." 

Maybe what God wanted from me was to worship him in my "hallway", maybe He wanted to use the hallway as my final destination or maybe He wanted me to be still until things were prepared for me to exit.

Regardless, my answer was to remain in the hallway...in my living room until He told me to wait no more.

What I didn't see, what I could not have imagined was what was on the other side of that door. He did open the door, I did walk through and God blew my mind. 

Even if he never opens another door for me, I will remain in this hallway worshiping Him, praising Him and thanking Him for who He is regardless.