I'm a pretty chill person most of the time, so when I slip into hyper slow mode, to the untrained eye, most people would have no clue that I am struggling. In fact, the changes can be so subtle, that even I don't know.

I have some deadlines from various places coming up and I have been on the road for some trips, some of which were expected and some that were not. These little events in my life start stacking up and before I know it, it turns into crunch time.

When I am stressed, instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I tend to procrastinate and fall prey to distractions, still unaware of what is going on until........

BOOM, my body starts screaming out "I'M STRESSED, HELP ME!" The screams come in the form of hives. Yep, because apparently it's the only way I will listen.

So here I am a few days before an event with ugly blotches on my arms.

But, here I am. Here I am ready to listen, ready to take a look at my priorities and focus on what is important, ready to be accountable, ready to press into God's strength and NOT my own.

Here I am...ready to fix my eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of my faith. 

Here I am, ready to Breath.

How do you handle stress? Do you recognize it quickly or do you need to get hit by a bus (figuratively) before you stop and re-evaluate.

What really helped me this time was sitting down with my husband and simply writing down all the deadlines and things I needed to get done. And you know what, it's not as bad as I thought. I saw more clearly those things that I could let go and those things that were important and now, I'm off to get 'er done (and go hiking)!

​Peace out friends! Don't forget to breath!
​Mia

There are a few rules of etiquette that I have learned for hiking. For instance, hikers going uphill have the right  of way, if you hear someone on your tail, step to the side and let them by, keep your music confined to your headphones and it's always a good thing to acknowledge those you pass.

Not everyone follows these unwritten rules, but when they do, it makes for a great experience.

I was making my way up the Piestewa Peak Summit trail in Phoenix yesterday morning. For those of you that are not familiar with this area, it is a nice 1.2 mile, 1,200 ft climb to the top. As I hiked, I was reminded that not everyone is aware of hiker etiquette, as evidenced by the fact that I found myself giving the right away to hikers that had already made the climb and were on there way down with no intention of stopping for those of us making our way up, panting and dripping with sweat.

Others, though, kindly stepped to the side as I made great strides and stretches over the uphill rocks. For that, I was grateful and squeezed out a smile in the midst of my exhaustion.

There were moments when I thought, "I have gone far enough, I should just turn back now" but, the fighter in me doesn't like to quit until I make it to the top (which last week almost got me into some trouble). After making the 1,200 ft ascent, I was able to rest and take in the view. 

There is that exhilarating feeling when you make it to the top, when you reach your goal and have survived to conquer your mountain. For me, I think about the fact that 1.5 years ago, I could barely make it to the top and if I did, it took me twice as long with many stops along the way. This day, though, being in better shape and living a healthier lifestyle, I pushed through without stopping.  I made it and I made it well.

After a nice break on top of the summit, I made my way, with the grace of gravity pulling me back down to where I started. I smiled at those making there way up and I stepped to the side to give them the right away as they struggled upward. I allowed those who were descending faster than me the opportunity to go on by and at times I was afforded the same courtesy, as those who were going a bit slower than me, let me pass.

And then it got me thinking (as hiking always does) about the difficulties in life that we have, the mountains that we climb and the "etiquette of struggling" that we so easily forget.

There are times when I, one who has been through the fire, see others going through the same battles I once went through and wonder why they are not conquering it as quickly as I did.  There are times when I know people are struggling and I fail to give them the "right  of way" in their pain and I expect them to move out of my way and "get over it" so that I can continue living my life. There are times when people are making uphill strides in their situations and I forget to acknowledge them.

There are times when I, because I already made it to the top of a certain mountain, forget what the struggle was like to get to a place where you have a birds eye view and greater perspective. 

There are so many times that I am simply the worst hiker in the world.

It is good to be reminded that we all hike (through life) at different paces, we all have mountains to climb and battles to win. When I am more conscious of those around me, it makes this hike of life a little more doable, a little less difficult and a lot more encouraging for everyone. 

I can't climb someone else's mountain for them, but I can step out of the way and not be a stumbling block in their journey. I can reach out a hand and give encouragement. I can allow them to feel their pain so they can move to a position where they can see the view of the joy to come. 

I pray that we all will be a bit of the grace that gravity brings in someone else's life as they are struggling uphill.

Let's go hiking! I love you in the Lord!
Mia

I read this passage this morning and so many thoughts flooded my mind. What a beautiful picture of the body of Christ. The old men who had seen the glorious temple in all it's splendor in the days of King Solomon looked at the humble foundation of this days temple and wept because they knew what had been and at the same time rejoiced in what was to come..... the new had come.

Those who had not seen the temple of the past rejoiced at the rebuilding and the newness of it all brought such joy that they SHOUTED (and I mean really shouted) to the Lord... "And they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the Lord, 'For he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever toward Israel.' ” Ezra 3: 11

I have had times where I saw what had been and wept, and at the same time I saw what was to be and I rejoiced. After my sister died, leaving behind four amazingly beautiful daughters and the worlds best husband and father, he remarried. I remember sitting at the wedding and shedding tears for what could have been if my glorious sister were still alive....her girls someday getting married, graduating, my sister being a grandmother...but none of that was going to be. I shed tears because I knew what had been taken away, YET, at the same time, I rejoiced at what was to come.

Here standing before my eyes was a man with his four daughters committing to love another women, to take her as his wife and to embark on something new and because of that I rejoiced. Because of the Love of God in their lives, because God is sovereign, because I know that God is good, I could rest in joy and know that what was to come would be beautiful. Because of that, I have a new sister, whom I love because God first loved us.

You see, my weeping of what could have been was wrapped up in the joy of what was to come. My shouts of joy covered and held close the tears like a mother holding a weeping child to her chest.

Sometimes we weep, sometimes we mourn, sometimes we rejoice, sometimes all at once and sometimes in part. But, sometimes the joy comes in the mourning and sometimes joy really does not come until the morning.

So whether you are weeping right now for what could have been, know that joy will come. And if you are one that is standing in joy, may your joy encompass those around you, may you be a rock for them in their sadness and may your joy carry them through the mourning and into the light of a new day.

Shout for Joy all you people, Shout for Joy!! Salvation has come!!

"For he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!" 

I LOVE that no matter what state I am in, there is a Celebrate Recovery meeting I can go to..... a place where it is safe to share without having people try to fix me and give me the next best antidote or self help book for my struggles.

Currently I am in Colorado Springs, CO. There are times when I go to CR when the Lord really brings to light a stronghold in my life in a more powerful way than other times. Tonight was one of those nights.

Through a question posed to me by someone sharing their testimony, I thought back to a time when I felt so betrayed and did not want to let it go. This past hurt was connected to my current struggle with trust and anxiety. God revealed this deep rooted bitterness, this place in my heart that was holding me back.

What I realized tonight was simple. I tend to use the excuse that I am an introvert (which is completely true) to cover up the fact that I try to isolate myself from large groups of people because of the anxiety and panic that it brings and therefore isolate myself from fellowship.

If you have ever seen me in public, you might be saying to yourself  "You don't seem to struggle in large groups of people, you go onstage in front of hundreds and thousands of people at a time, You're so talkative and social......The thought of large crowds gives you panic attacks? Social anxiety? You? Never!"

The reality is, "Yes, me." But, the greater reality is that my God is bigger than my fears, bigger than my struggles, bigger than my anxiety. I Celebrate recovery from so much yet I continue to struggle with trust and anxiety, but even though I struggle, I still celebrate victories in these area daily.

Like tonight, as I sat in a circle with a group of strangers in an open share group and shared about my week.....even though I got in the room a little early and rearranged the seats a bit so I wasn't so closed in...it was a victory. The little steps of opening myself up to others regularly so that I don't isolate myself is crucial in my walk with the Lord and the people he sets before me and it is crucial in my relationship with Jesus Christ.

The other week, a women read my display banner at my merch table where is said "Mia Koehne..reflecting the painful beauty of human struggles....." After that she said to me "Mia, you are so pretty, what do you know about struggles?" to which I replied with a testimony and a sharing of my currents struggles. Too pretty? Ha!! Struggles, sin, pain and heartache do not care what we look like on the outside. Too pretty? let me tell you a story...

We all struggle, we all have pain....some of us admit it, some of us hide it and hide it well....some of us walk in the joy of the Lord, so they may be harder to see, but we all have it and we all need to surrender it at the foot of the cross.

This is why I love going to a place where it is safe, where people don't judge me and I learn to not judge others. I love Celebrate Recovery and what it has done in my life and the lives of so many that I have come to love!!

If you have a hurt, a habit or a hang-up, don't hide anymore, reach out. Maybe Celebrate Recovery is the place for you...check it out. www.celebraterecovery.com There is probably one near you!

Here's that banner that I put on display when I do concerts and events. It speaks my heart and the reason I sing.

A hair cut.....My husband told me he is going to get a hair cut today......a hair cut that is, unless I wanted to do it myself. I said "No, honey have fun at the Barber shop."

You see, this is the first year in our 20 years of marriage where we can comfortably afford a luxury like having my husband go to the Barber-shop whenever he needs to. A little thing, I know, but I thank God that He has always provided a roof over our head, food on our table and now, He has provided a little extra!

Some history....
This is what happened one day in 2007 when I told my son we cannot afford to send you to the barber shop every week to keep your hair looking good, I'm happy to cut it for you, but otherwise you will have to pay for it yourself." Well, my high school son didn't really want his mom to cut his hair anymore and he didn't want to spend money, so he went on a boycott....this was the result...and that lasted until 2012

If people wonder why my son grew his hair out, it was because we didn't have money to cut it and Mom, the Barber, didn't carry the skills to do a sweet fade.

I am thankful for my husband who works diligently and tirelessly to provide for our family. I am thankful to God for providing work for him to do and the blessings and provisions that comes out of it. We may not have much, but we have way more than we will ever need.

A haircut may not seem like a big thing, but really..it is!

Time to leave it to the professionals, by the grace and through the blessings of God.

PS....you don't even want to know the last time I was at a hair Solon...10 years, maybe, and I think it was because I got a gift certificate LOL... relaxer in a box and a pair of scissors, maybe an occasional trip to Fantastic Sams....You can take the girl out of the cheap, but you can't take the cheap out of the girl!